“Children are the essence of the family life but can become the driving destructive force the splits or divides them up” (Dr Barbara Wallace, 1995). Recently it has been realized that siblings have an enormous impact on one another not just through early childhood but long into the lifespan. Previously it was thought that parents were the main influence in early childhood changing to peers for early adulthood an old age, only now has the full impact of siblings influences been realized.
The
sibling relationship is usually one of the longest relationships an individual
will experience through a whole lifetime, this is apparent even through half or
step siblings. A sibling relationship is ascribed, siblings cannot choose each
other and because of this fights, disagreements and arguments can normally be
overcome where friendships may not be overcome, which relates back to the folk
saying “you cannot choose your family”. Sibling relationships overcome most
blocks that destroy other relationships when presented with the same blocks.
Blocks such as age, size, intelligence social skills, achievements and so on
would generally half most relationships before they even get a chance to start,
but siblings with most or all of these differences still manage to relate on an
egual level. Siblings also have a common history of shared and non-shared
experiences again strengthening the bond between them. Bill Cosby once said,
“You are not really a parent until you have had your second child”. Parents of
one child would not really understand this. Parents of two or more children
will relate to this statement immediately. He was referring to the seemingly
constant-bickering and fighting between brothers and sisters.
You
never really know what your life is going to be like until it is happening.
That has been true for my brother ever since I was little. My brother, Rufee was an only child for three years, and then I was born. Nine years after I was born, my sister was born. I was nine years old then. There is quite an age
gap between my sister and I which is tremendous and bad at the same time.
Having this age gap I seem more like an aunt or mother figure some of the time.
Being much older it is hard to relate with my sister. Since my brother was
thirteen, my sister and I have been babysitting by my brother for my parents. My brother love
to babysit, but it is a little bit harder when you are a family member to the
kids you watch. My sister and I would refuse to do anything when my brother asked us to and say
“You are not the boss of me!”. My brother love my sister and I dearly, but this
always got on his nerves. It would result in a fight, which he was too old to be
in. It would make him so frustrated that we would not listen. Over the years, as he matured these issues started to disappear. He found himself to be yelling much
less and having more authority by other means than yelling, and having
patience.
Oyien is so cute, but extremely dramatic. Her wails could be heard through out the
entire house and hurt the ears of anyone who did not cover them in time. Her
drama has not decreased very much as she has been growing older , but shows
itself in different ways. She has a vocabulary that is well beyond a six years
old. It is hilarious when you hear a phrase like “you are being obnocious”, or
“I would like to propose a toast”, coming out of her mouth. Her tantrums and
crying have not stopped, but they have gotten better. Oyien has taught me
patience, and tough love, because when she is throwing a fit, that is what I
have to show.
I
love my brother and sister dearly, even though they frustrate me, and annoy me
at times. They are good brother and sister that I ever had, and they are not perfect, but who is? Rufee is
doing very well in his college even with all his complications, and Oyien is the
social butterfly of her grade. My parents cannot wait to see us transform into who we were made to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment